mwine122: What do you make of this:
mwine122: (from Chris Kraus’ introductory essay from Pornocracy, the novel that is a companion piece to Catherine Breillat’s film, Anatomy of Hell)
mwine122: ” If a wedding is ‘the most important day of a woman’s life’ (Bride Magazine) it is because it serves as an affirmation of her as a woman [ital.].
mwine122: Perhaps accurately, now that the culture has only inertia to offer, this generation perceives marriage and its ensuing spawn of the nuclear family as the only acheivable utopia.”
mwine122: This fascinates me because there is the parallel chant, from the Oprah crowd and the therapy crowd that “marriage takes WORK!”
bullmurph: i’d say that’s a bit over the top and pointy headed
bullmurph: but there are major elements of truth
mwine122: So, I find it an interesting project to try to reconcile this workaday attitude toward marriage that I hear a lot more of… and the idea that it’s the only thing a modern woman can “make perfect” in her own life…
mwine122: eeek.
mwine122: I’m gonna run back into my molehole now.
bullmurph: ha! moleholes are safe, huh?
mwine122: safer than marriage beds/
bullmurph: i’d be curious to read about weddings in other countries; i wonder if the utter obsession with the wedding day is a distinctly american phenomenon
bullmurph: i.e. i’ve seen VERY rational, even “frugal” women get totally wrapped up and whacked out over it
bullmurph: like “this is MY day”
mwine122: well, it’s interesting because Breillat is VERY French
bullmurph: but i wonder if it says more about americans than “women”
bullmurph: (i’m saying this to try to cut women as a group some slack)
mwine122: and both the movie and the book are Fuh-RENCH!
mwine122: the essayist, however, is painfully American…
bullmurph: i still think i’m on to something here…
mwine122: and personally, I think he gives Breillat too much congratulation. I was kind of annoyed by the film. Fascinated, obviously, but interested in why it annoyed me… hence I’m prompted to read the book.
mwine122: I do think you’re onto something– personally, I think the sort of whackiness about weddings has a LOT to do with showing off and class… much more than it does with womanhood– or even, showing off one’s womanhood (i.e., femininity)
bullmurph: agreed
mwine122: it’s more than an affirmation of one’s heterosexual position in the culture– more than about asking for all of one’s family and peers to grant your relationship authenticity, even.
mwine122: The American wedding is all about saying, look what my family can afford.
bullmurph: eh….i think that is too academic a reading
bullmurph: i think you can put it more on the solipsistic nature of americans in general
bullmurph: of course the parents want to show they can afford a nice spread
bullmurph: and the bride wants the whole world there
bullmurph: but it ultimately amounts to SHOW and style over substance
bullmurph: (or else everyone would elope)
mwine122: and a pretty dress.
mwine122: I DO get the pretty dress part.
